Top 10 custom JavaScript functions of all time

Top 10 custom JavaScript functions of all time

If there was ever a universal common.js shared among the entire develosphere, you’d fine these ten (plus one bonus) functions. It would be the swiss army knife no developer would go into production without. They have no doubt been tested tried and true and have proven usefulness and helpfulness to all those who’ve used them. So without further ado, here are what I believe to the top ten greatest custom JavaScript functions in use today.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who was baffled by the lack of a getElementsByClass.

Interestingly inArray() adds a method to the Array prototype object, rather than creating an independent function. I think that is a way cool way to program, but for some reason I was under the impression Safari couldn’t handle it. Maybe they’ve changed that in the version of Safari I have or something, because I tested it and it works great.

Via Reddit.

Questionable Content

No, not the webcomic, though it looks like some major plot stuff is about to happen there — woot!

This post will contain questionable content. It is about Iron Crotch Qi Gong, and contains the word “penis,” though only in quotes. I would never subject my readers to an unquoted penis, except that one right there.

Apparently (according to this article):

Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached himself not once, but twice, to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.

He groaned, grunted and pressed against two men for resistance.

Then, slowly, the truck began to roll forward.

You can learn more about Iron Crotch Qi Gong here, and even see a modestly pixellated image of a practicioner lifting weights.

If you want you can even buy Tu Jin-Sheng’s video.

For a completely Flash based site, check out Iron Crotch DOT COM!

An article in Kung Fu magazine featuring a truly frightening image of all the various metal tools used to condition oneself in Iron Crotch Qi Gong!

And more about Tu himself:

u is graceful man who moves like a swimming dragon, with sudden bursts of thunderous gestures, natural displays of raw power. He is a very calm speaker with a deep bass voice, softened with kindness. His hands move like brushstrokes while his thick body is solid and upright as an immovable stone statue. Tu was very open and frank about the “inner secrets” of his practice, exposing himself to scrutiny just as openly as when exposes his privates in his public towing demonstrations.

And just when you thought that wonder was gone from the world… Iron Crotch Qi Gong rescues you from the mundanity.

I don’t remember where I first saw this linked, but I most recently got it from Warren Ellis.

Oops I Did It Again

I know I’ve blogged about this before but I don’t care. It’s still wonderful.

The original version of “Oops, I Did It Again,” as recorded in 1932 by Louis Armstrong, here.

Also from, Yule Prog, the Prog Rock Christmas Song. Hey, I’m a Yes and Tull fan, and I can laugh at myself.