Greetings From Nigeria

Inspired by a true story….

Dear Sir,
I am PETER AKINOLA, Archbishop, Metropolitan, and Primate of All Nigeria. I received your name from a trusted source and I am contacting you in confidence regarding a business relationship that will be advantageous to us both.
At the time of the Province of Nigeria’s break with the Anglican Communion, our Church was in possession of properties (churches, schools, etc.) valued at US$2,000,000,000. At the present time, due to disputes over ownership between
our Church and certain dioceses claiming membership in the Anglican Communion, the Nigerian government has frozen the Church’s assets until the matter is arbitrated. Furthermore, they have launched an ongoing investigation into the
Church’s handling of certain moneys allocated to it, including an investigation of the Primatial See.
In light of these facts, a sum belonging to the Church equivalent to US$200,000,000 and which has never been declared as Church income has been deposited in a secret account known only to me, which cannot be traced by the government, which funds I intend to use toward the revitalization of the Nigerian Church. However, due to the ongoing investigation, I am unable to directly access this account while in Nigeria. I therefore wish, with your assistance, to transfer this money to an account outside the country. As a fee for your valuable services, I propose remitting to you 15% ($30,000,000) of the complete sum. Your response is required urgently as the Church of Nigeria is desperately short of funds for the poor widows and orphans. You will understand that this transaction is in complete confidence. Please contact me immediately at my address
The Peace of Christ be upon you,

(reposted by permission of the author, Vanity)

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